Men are like Blenders

Very early in the morning- one of those hours that moms call each other because no one else is awake yet- I received a call from a friend in crisis. At 4:00 am she loaded up a car with all her worldly possessions, two daughters, two dogs, and headed west on a prayer and tank of gas. She drove 17 hours before stopping at the hotel and after a well deserved night of sleep, she woke to discover 6 FEET of snow on the ground.  This call was a few hours after that, when I wished her a safe journey.   This call was to let me know that she was safe, but she had spun out on a patch of ice and busted a back tire. She was stranded in the snow with children and dogs, but no spare and no tow truck.

Several hours later the truck finally did arrive but the prospects of finding the correct wheel within 75 miles were dismal. However, her darling military husband who was still stuck holding down the fort got on the horn and made calls.

At 2:00 pm I answered the phone to hear, “I only have a minute, but I have to tell you that we found a tire in the shop across from the tow place and it will cost less than $50. I LOVE MY BLENDER!”

Yes, she said blender. Confused? Let me explain an analogy so profound that you will never forget it. I must credit the lovely Rebekah with this wisdom as I share it with you.

(Disclaimer: Please not this is JUST an analogy and not a commentary on singlehood, marriages, submission, abuse, quality of men, etc. nor do I mean to objectify men or suggest they are just tools to use. Lighten up, people. This is a simple analogy to demonstrate that in a particular set of situations this is a great way for a woman to appreciate the value of having a man to save the day. If you get your panties in a twist just go mix up a good ice-cream milk shake in your blender, get a brain freeze, drink the shake anyway and then go into a dessert coma, totally forgetting why I made you angry. This is just like “ogres are like onions”. )

Men are like blenders. In a kitchen, a blender usually sits on the counter. It is not always necessary on a daily basis, but it is still essential. There are many times where a woman can get along  without a blender or even make do in a pinch. However, when a woman NEEDS a blender, nothing but a blender will do.

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There are women who are most insistent that they don’t need a man for anything. Granted, there are many ‘manly’ things that a woman can do and perhaps just as well. Still, you cannot replace the value of a good man with a chocolate bar. I love a good girl’s night but goodness gracious, when there is a hole in the drywall an Almond Joy isn’t going to patch it. Besides, there is something wonderful about watching a man work and succeed at something he is really great at. The natural wonder and desire to swoon is a good thing, Ladies.boy flex

True, you might be able to use other tools to chop, liquefy, puree, mix and blend if you don’t have a blender, but it will usually be quite messy and time consuming, leading to frustrations and perhaps even deciding the task isn’t worth it. Everything would be easier if we just had a good blender.

Not all blenders are the same, you see. Some are cheap. Some won’t hold up. Some are durable and do what is needed quietly. Others do the job but you can’t do any talking while it’s working.  Take care of it and push the right buttons and that thing will work hard and get the job done.

Not all blenders are created equal, so pick a good one.

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I recently explained this to another girlfriend who was quite amused. We often joke about a time her daughter asked how her daddy was able to do something . With absolute sincerity he added, “Because, Sweetie, I am a ninja.” She bought it wholeheartedly and went on her way.  Thus I had to remind this friend, “You don’t just have any blender, Girl. Your blender is a ninja!”

Ninja-Blender

I know a lot of women who have some sort of kitchen appliance they ‘can’t live without’. It may be a mixer, a crock pot, a coffee maker, etc. and for these purposes, any of these appliances get the point across. It may not be a daily use thing, but when a woman is without it, look out.

So as you hide that spinach and kale in your childrens’ fruit smoothie or blend up some ice for a drink, take the time to appreciate your blender. Take care of it and show some appreciation.

I know that every time I blend up baby food I am thankful my husband provides. When I make some salsa, I’m glad he is hot stuff. When I wash my blender out, I am grateful my man strives to be pure in heart. When I see it sitting on the counter, ready when I need it, I am reminded to tell my man that I am really, really glad he is my blender.

As many women know- especially in the world where men aren’t always around right when we need them- you can’t place a value on a really great blender.

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