Day 6:”Phil”ing up on Crappy Days

I’d wager that today was a tough one for most of us. Between residual candy conflict, daylight savings adjustments, election day angst and the usual Monday issues it was just a rough one.

A very wise woman who has trail-blazed a path I often walk recently advised me to read through Philippians when things get tough. Today at about noon I decided I needed some refueling. This weekend had many wonderful moments but today I felt exhausted and battled giving in to my inner grumbling. Praise God for childhood memory verses like, ” Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.” Phil 2:14-15. On days when I feel empty, only the Word of God will do. Today I needed to be “Phil”ed up.

Today was challenging. Today was a day full of “count it all joy” while a baby screamed at me unrelentingly and “I press on toward the goal” as chemotherapy dripped. As mothers of babies know, “It came to pass” is the mantra. Suffice to say that chemotherapy causes nausea, vomiting and other yucky stuff. There were multiple bed changes and messes that warranted new tubing and words like “epic” from nurses. One diaper even weighed in at 2 pounds 6 ounces BEFORE the real mess started. At that point I realized both soap dispensers were empty. I also can’t currently bathe my kid beyond sponge bathing. To quote The Incredibles, “The baby was exploding!”
baby exploding
I am finding that the most important part of humility and being a true servant is caring for others to the best of my ability including my best attitude. There are always things to grumble about but this new challenge is helping me practice the discipline of thankfulness. There are always more things to be thankful for than to complain about, even on the crappiest of days.
This weekend wasn't exactly restful for anyone but it was full of blessings. The Conqueror was able to see Daddy and his Nonna, my MIL. He also got a visit from a nephew which allowed for some cousin playtime.
My amazingly selfless sister in law blessed me with a date night while she cared for The Conqueror during a particularly difficult time for him. Yes, the first night with my man since this adventure began..what a gift.

My house was filled with family members and 6 blonde and redheaded children I won’t be able to see for years because they are headed overseas to the mission field. Everyone is a bit frayed on the edges but there is a joy in facing challenges as a family.

I also found a great package waiting for me that included a warm blanket.
IMG_3063 It was the only blanket to survive the morning unscathed and came full of hugs from his favorite Facebook friend, Claire, who recently had heart surgery and is conquering her challenges amazingly well. It was a wonderful blessing to have the messages, e-mails and prayers from friends this week. I can’t express how vital they are. The spiritual warfare can sometimes be felt in here. A pediatric care wing is a battleground where lives and hope can be lost. I am so very thankful for the reminders that I am not facing this trial alone.

Sometimes it is easy to feel tangled up.

Although The Conqueror is hindered, he surprised me today by reaching up on the crib, pulling and getting onto his knees independently– something I’ve been trying to help him do for 6 months! He still wouldn’t do it for the therapists, but he did it for himself and in his own time.

Things aren’t ideal, but we are learning contentment and that God will supply all our needs. That often means that he will use his followers to do that. Thank you all for the meals and financial help. It helps us more abundantly than you know.
May you get restored, refreshed and even “Phil”ed up today. I’m cheering you on.


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