If You Give A Boy a Bowtie

 

If You Give A Boy A Bow-tie

If you give a boy a bow-tie, people will tell him that he is cute.

Pretty soon his brother will get jealous and start wearing bow ties too. If you give a brother a bow tie, pretty soon he will want a fedora to go with it.

 

If you give a kindergartener a fedora, he will suddenly remember his suspenders. If he gets his suspenders, he will refuse to wear pants with them.

If a boy refuses pants, a mom will have to fight it and end up explaining that while Jesus didn’t have to wear pants to school, I am not Mary and until he can turn water into wine he has to wear pants.

When he wears pants he will take off his suspenders, no longer looking like A Sound of Music extra and will want a picture.

kaitandjonbowtie

If a Mom takes a picture, the boy will say, “Cheese!”, which reminds the mom that the cheese stick and other lunch items are still in the fridge. If she goes to the fridge and tells the boy to put his lunch in his backpack, the boy will start putting other wanted items into the backpack.

If a boy has his backpack, he will start to walk to school and a neighbor will say you missed the bus. If you miss the bus you have to walk, which will make the bus then magically turn down the street. However, you will have left the house.

If a mom sees a bus that her child needs to be on, she will wave the bus down and embarrass the boy, which is her right and duty. If the boy gets onto the bus, he will forget how he begged to ride it and not care that his teacher prefers it, and will start clinging to his mother and panicking.

baby exploding

If a mother has a panicking son on a bus, she will still strap him in while hugging him and praying out loud for courage. The mother will wave to the bus while her son screams to the kind bus aid, knowing it is best and remaining composed like an “ice-cold Mother Theresa”. Then she will look for her phone unsuccessfully and then leave to lead Bible Study.

If she is on time to the church and drops off her other bow-tie wearing son, she will find a friend to sit next to and lament a lost phone. Then the friend’s phone will ring. It will be the school, calling the emergency contact to say they tried to call the very phone they were holding and that her son put it into his backpack. The friend will laugh.

excuse me sir

When a friend laughs, it  will make the mom laugh and realize you have to make the best out of the situation and make the difficult daily grind fun. She will do something like invent a Bow-Tie Tuesday. This will spread and become a fun trend.

Then, invariably, someone will think it is a good idea to give a boy a bow tie.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s